Table of Contents
Got a fascination with our slippery serpentine friends? Or maybe you’re just looking for some light-hearted fun to share with friends and family? Look no further! We’ve compiled a collection of Funny Snakes Puns that are so good, they’ll rattle your funny bone. These puns are perfect for captions, one-liners, and jokes that will make you laugh out loud. Let’s dive in!
1. Hiss-terical Funny Snakes Puns to Make You Laugh
Snakes Puns That Will Charm Your Socks Off
1. Why don’t snakes drink coffee? Beca
use it makes them viperactive.
2. What do snakes use to clean their car windows? Windscreen vipers.
3. What is a snake’s favorite TV show? Monty Python.
4. What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor.
5. How do venomous snakes kill their prey? In cold blood.
6. What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra.
Slithering Snakes Jokes for Kids
7. How does a snake shoot something? With a boa and arrow.
8. What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food? Snakes and Larders.
9. What do you call a snake that bakes? A pie-thon.
10. What do you call a funny snake? Hissssssterical.
11. What do married snakes have on their bath towels? “Hiss,” and “Herss.”
12. Why are snakes so hard to fool? They have no legs to pull.
2. Snake Captions for Your Social Media Posts
Creative One-Liner Snakes Puns
13. Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssssssside.
14. Who is a snake’s favorite author? William Snakespeare.
15. Why do snakes always measure in inches? Because they don’t have feet.
16. What did the snake give her boyfriend? A goodnight hiss.
17. What did the snake say to the loud children at the library? “Ssssss.”
18. What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A “Pi”-thon.
ALSO READ: 180+ Hilarious Capybara Puns & Jokes to Brighten Your Day
Short and Sweet Snakes Puns
19. can’t a snake rob a bank? Because they are unarmed.
20. What do you call an important English snake? Sir Pent.
21. What’s a snake’s favorite dance? The mamba.
22. What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang letters.
23. Why should you never weigh a snake? They have their own scales.
24. What do you call a snake that’s shed its skin? Snaked.
One-Liner Snakes Puns for Captions
- “Don’t be such a snake charmer!”
- “I’m just ssssuper excited!”
- “Keep calm and sssslither on.”
- “Feeling fang-tastic today!”
- “Ssssorry, I’m hissing this one out.”
- “Boa-n appetite!”
- “Life’s a hiss and then you shed.”
- “You’re viper-active today!”
- “Don’t scale back your dreams.”
- “Time to rattle and roll!”
3. Hiss-terical Snake Stories and Jokes
Longer Snake Jokes to Share with Friends
25. A Boy Scout asks his scout leader, “Sir, is this snake poisonous?” The scout leader looks at it and says, “No, that snake’s not poisonous at all.” So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him. The boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror. The scout leader says, “But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let’s get it right next time, boys.”
26. After the flood, satisfied his work was done, Noah was inspecting the ark one last time when he came across a pair of snakes. “Why are you still here?” he asked in surprise. “It’s safe now. Go forth! And multiply!” The snakes stared at him in confusion. “But… we’re adders.”
27. A jellyfish, a snake, and a snail walk into a bar. The jellyfish says, “This is impossible.”
Snake Jokes for Adults
28. My girlfriend is a snake. Whenever you ask her whose fault was it, she goes “HISSSSSSSSSS.”
29. Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?” Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope.”
30. I got mugged by a cobra once when I was walking through the park. I wouldn’t recognize it again, though. It was wearing a hood.
4. Clever Snakes Puns for Every Occasion
Perfect Snakes Puns for Captions and Social Media
31. Why did Woody have to wear sneakers? There was a snake in his boot.
32. What kind of car does a snake drive? An ana-honda.
33. What’s a snake’s favorite dance? The snake, rattle, and roll.
34. What do snakes do when they get angry? They throw hissy fits.
35. What is a snake’s favorite school subject? Hisstory.
36. Nobody wants to listen to White Snake with me. So here I go again on my own.
Snake Puns for All Ages
1. Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them hyperactive.
2. What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
3. What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
4. What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
5. How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
6. What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
7. How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
8. What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a food cupboard?
Snakes and larders.
9. What do you call a snake that bakes?
A pie-thon.
10. What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
“Hiss,” and “Herss.”
11. Why are snakes so hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
12. Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
13. Which snake is a member of a rock band?
A rattlesnake.
14. What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
15. How can you rescue a snake that looks dead?
With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation.
Wrap-Up
Whether you’re a fan of pythons or boas or just love a good pun, these snake jokes will surely bring a smile to your face. Use them to entertain your friends, share these animal puns on social media, or enjoy a good laugh. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even if it comes from the hiss-terical world of snakes!
- 130+ Egg Puns to Crack You Up! - September 13, 2024
- 140+ Camping Puns That’ll Have You in Tents Laughter! - September 13, 2024
- 100+ Parrot Puns to Make You Squawk with Laughter! - September 7, 2024